


Pool Noodle

by dstrider (articulateSeer)



Series: Pool Noodle [1]
Category: Homestuck
Genre: Almost Kiss, Alternate Universe, Bookstores, Boys Kissing, Coming Out, Developing Relationship, Everyone Is Gay, First Dates, First Kiss, Fluff, How Do I Tag, Humanstuck, Implied Relationships, M/M, Nicknames, Pale Romance | Moirallegiance, Public Display of Affection, Secret Relationship, accidentally includes davekat too, idk it's fluffy, ill add more tags when i think of them, kind of implied porrim/kankri
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-10-28
Updated: 2015-05-24
Packaged: 2018-02-23 00:48:46
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 12
Words: 18,664
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2527823
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/articulateSeer/pseuds/dstrider
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>You remember thinking he looked like a pool noodle.</p><p>-</p><p>Karkat Vantas is the sort of guy who thinks he knows it all when it comes to dating; he knows the tricks, the signs and the whole works of romance. The thing he lacks? Experience. The other thing he lacks? A person to date.</p><p>If his romance novels are anything to go by, he's doing well. (Although they aren't exactly guides to the universe).</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Dumb 3D glasses

You remember thinking he looked like a pool noodle. Tall and wiry, all arms and legs but no real body shape that didn't fall into the category of 'stick'. He was like the abnormally long fry on a plate of short ones; that wasn't to say he was tall - everyone seemed tall to you - but he stood out among the others like a grey hair.

He was looking in the 'Non-fiction' section of the bookstore. No doubt something like IT or Biology - you'd seen him around school a few times, but only a glimpse on the corner, a glance of the back of his head as he left the study rooms. Up close, this personal, you could see every detail of his face. The way he licked his lips every so often - you're sure you saw a flash of metal in there, braces? - the way he flexed and cracked his fingers subconsciously while searching the shelves. You weren't 100% sure of his ethnicity, but even so he was beautiful to look at. A mix of angelic and burning electrics; the guy was breathtaking.

Your description was more than ironic; you were standing in the 'Romance' section and holding more than you could carry.

But you still stared at him, the geeky guy with the dumb 3D glasses just oozed appeal. How could you not? When was the last time you had any romance in your life?

You walked into a shelf.

A bang, slam and shuffle later and all but one book had fallen to the floor with a fluttering pile of pages. You hoped to God that none of them had torn or had their spines broken; you weren't planning on buying them all. As you slunk to the floor, embarrassment threatening to take your life, you heard laughing. It wasn't even an attractive laugh either, more like the laugh of someone who hadn't heard a joke in four centuries. Like you, then.

"You could at least fucking help me," escaped from your mouth before you could even process the thought. It suddenly occurred to the reason you were so lonely.

Instead of even speaking, instead of saying something like, "Rude! I'm going to go complain about you to a shop assisstant!" the guy's long fingers scooped up the books by their covers. You were NOT going to wince at the fact he could be further torturing the books into eternal pain. No, you weren't.

"What the fuck kind of books are these? Rom-coms? I can't decide if that's funnier than you actually dropping them in the first place."

Oh yeah. That was a lisp, and those are - blue and red braces?

"Fuck off, these books are the shit. Don't even get me STARTED on the emotional depth they hold."

You winced, and so did he.

You stood, and so did he.

He handed you the books, you turned your back on him, and he did the same to you.

Talk about an awkward first impression; you don't think you've ever been so ashamed to call yourself a romance expert when you can't even apply the knowledge to your own life.

It wasn't until you got home and opened the first book on the pile's cover and found a torn piece of file paper with a squiggle of blue ink in the corner and a chumhandle written in red. Your heart stopped and you think you might need medical attention.


	2. I said 'hey'...what's goin' on?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Karkat grows some balls.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was supposed to be a drabble lol but look another chapter. I find shorter chapters easier to write, but maybe they'll get longer with time, idk. Also I wrote this on my phone so please tell me if you see a mistake c:
> 
> I WILL FIX THE LOG HTMLing WHEN I'M ON MY LAPTOP... phones are fiddly so I'll wait until then haha.

It took you exactly 3 days to finally send him a message on pesterchum. You'd thought about it numerous times a day of course, coming up with an excuse everytime for why you couldn't do it. 'Too much coursework today, maybe tomorrow.' Or even something less wimpy and more pathetic would pop up in your dumb mind: "WHAT IF HE DOESN'T REPLY?" You knew it was stupid, of course he'd reply - he was waiting for you after all - but you couldn't help feeling a little iffy about the whole thing. Come to think of it, you can't quite think of any other reason a guy would give a strange guy with a rom-com problem (it is most certainly NOT a problem in any way shape or form) his number? Unless it was for a one-on-one intervention (very unlikely). You'll never shake the feeling that he's toying with you; enough has went wrong in your relationships in the past to know that - you guess you just have really shitty luck.

You'd just woken up. Drowsy, still half-dead from last night's reading session in the semi-darkness, (room mates tend to hate you after the first few times you stayed up past the recommended 'curfew' reading trashy novels) and you really just _could not_ get this guy's face out of your mind; the fact that he was literally the first thing in your thoughts when you woke was terrifying. His dorky braces, earbuds hanging around his neck...the fucking keychains hanging off of his belt - FUCK why were you so hung up on this guy? He was probably a control freak, or a freak in general, or had something wrong with him. ANYTHING to put you off. No way was he going to mess up your every thought with his weirdly imperfect perfection. It wasn't happening; you'd burn all of your novels before something that cliché happened. 

It was embarrassing how often you'd gone over the whole 'messaging him' ordeal in your head, but you congratulated yourself for getting over it - he's just one guy you kept telling yourself - and growing the balls to send a quick 'HEY' on over to...shit. What's his name? You didn't ask his name. Does he know yours? It'd be really fucking awkward if he did, him bothering to find out yours and all. Shit, why don't romance novels prepare you for the real thing? You really should stop following them like your own personal bibles.

You sat up in bed pondering this, your roomate mumbling something about you _going the fuck back to sleep, it's Saturday, dickmunch_ and you hissing back at his semi-unconscious body from across the room. Fuck if you were going to sleep now, you'd just made contact with the pool noodle from the bookstore.

Ping went your phone and you quickly scrambled your hands to turn it to silent. Can't have your room mate waking up from the not-comatose-enough-for-you-to-be-content state just yet; it seems you've got a message. From none other than...not him. Instead, your good buddy Gamzee, the only friend you have from high school back in Wisconsin wanting to know if you were awake (why is he? Did he sleep?). You are indeed; awake and pissed off at yourself for getting your hopes up at the prospect of an actual person you were interested in romantically wanting your attention. Those butterflies in your stomach were in dangerous risk of flying away. Gamzee spews off some lines of purple text, the upper and lowercase letters vacillating violently like a familiar song by the worst pop artist. Sometimes, you just pretend to read it. He hasn't figured that out yet, though.

In between aubergine reams, your phone spasms in your palm again, this time alerting you to a new message by an unknown contact. You check up with Gamzee first, though. Just to get your nerves down, just so that you can reply somewhat coherently to the new guy. 

TC: So MaN i HeAr YoUre FrEe ToDaY TC: I mEaN iF yOu ArEnT tHaTs ChIlL bUt I aInT sEeN mY kArBro In LiKe TC: hOnKs TC: So I wAs ThiNkIn MaYbE wE cOuLd GeT tOgEtHeR aNd GeT oUr ChIlL oN lIkE oLd DaYs TC: YoU kNoW bEfOrE yOu AlL uP aNd LeFt ThE nEsT fOr GeTtInG yOuR eXtRa ScHoOliN iN TC: HoW bOuT iT :o?

You hated turning the guy down. As much as you loved Gamzee, his version of 'honks' ago was last Tuesday. It pained you emotionally to do it, but sometimes, you have other priorities. Gamzee just wasn't one of them right now.

TA: 2o you fiinally deciided two 2peak two me then TA: ii thought iid have two phy2ically fiind you and force you two talk TA: ... TA: ii may 2tiil have two iif youre not there for 2ome rea2on TA: fuck

Your other priorities seemed to be spouting yellow text at your phone like it was piss in a toilet. Honestly, if you knew he was going to be this attentive, you'd have contacted him after the first ten minutes of getting the chumhandle. You'd just typed out a message to Gamzee when another yellow message popped up on your screen, brandishing the words you honestly believed you wouldn't ever see in your waking life. But there they were, right in front of your eyes. A date, huh? You chewed your fingers, but only to supress the growing pains in your stomach that were either intense hunger pains or the butterflies in there had turned into eight-winged robo-eagles with sythes for feathers. Your room mate squirmed, and you thought about waking him for advice. Although it was better to just...not do that. Right now, you were sobbing internally and entirely alone.

CG: WE'RE GOING TO HAVE TO TAKE A RAIN CHECK GAMZEE  
CG: MAYBE ANOTHER DAY, OKAY?

You barely got the message sent before switching tabs and rereading the text that had made you want to dance an Irish jig on the roof of the college.

TA: iid a2k you iif youd want two go out for breakfa2t or 2omethiing, but ii dont know iif youre 2tiil there or not  
TA: but  
TA: do you


	3. Sollux Capcom

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> What what it's time for LOVE. Not really. They haven't even gone out yet.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Shortieeeee. Still with the short chapters though. Theyll get longer i promiz

You spent the next hour showering away morning grime that wasn't actually there, tackling the jungle that is your hair and, mostly, beating off your room mate. Beating him away from you. Not...you know what you mean! The point, that you should get to right now, is that you're stressing out way too hard over the guy you met one time in a book store.

And you still don't know his name.

After screeching for the fiftieth time, your room mate rage quit and left you alone to stew. You don't think he put matching shoes on, but you were too wrapped up in your thoughts to give a shit...not that you would have said anything if you were paying attention anyway. There's no _time_ to think about this, it's exactly 20 minutes until your breakfast date! And also time to freak out.

You'd taken extra care to choose the right clothing for this sort of thing; what would the protagonist in one of your novels wear? All of them were female, and you don't quite feel like wearing a cute summery dress today, so that thought process was flushed down the toilet before it could come out of your ass. So you settled on a _clean_ t-shirt that you...found in a wardrobe that wasn't yours. Your room mate won't mind, if there's one thing he's okay with, it's a good fashion sense.

You felt casual. Chilled, but not to the point that you looked sloppy; you didn't want to look like you'd just rolled out of bed - because shit if you didn't spend a lifetime primping yourself for breakfast.

You sat spinning in your desk chair for the next 30 seconds, anxiously tapping your pen against your knees in an offbeat tune of nervous anxiety. You think you should get out more. Which...should actually be happening in about right now. Time to tuck and roll into this whirlwind of nerves and romantic tension.

You blink twice, breathe in and breathe out, and take a long glare at your phone's screen to confirm the time and the place. Yep. The exact same as it was the last time you checked; you almost want to punch yourself for being so concerned and paranoid. You have to chill out.

Okay, enough dawdling, you tell yourself. Mentally, you buckle up; if there's one thing you want to make sure of, it's that your mind doesn't get carried away and crash the caboose - not that it hasn't happened already, but let that fucker loose for a beat in HIS presence and you'll be stuck with Gamzee as your _only_ source of affection forever. Which...not what anybody wants. You can feel your brain sweating inside your skull - as long as it isn't your physical body where people can see, you're good as far as you know.

 

 

You left the room, surprisingly calm. But the second you feel your phone beep against your side - you know something's happened. He can't meet you, something came up, he fell down the stairs, went blind or someone died; _anything_ that'll make you lose hope in your love life forever. With sweating fingers, you pry the device out of the pocket in your jacket; you threw it on just as an afterthought. You didn't realize your eyes were closed until you wondered why you couldn't see.

TA: iim runniing a liittle late  
TA: you dont miind iif ii ju2t  
TA: piick you up out2iide your dorm or 2omethiing?  
TA: we can walk two the cafe twogether  
TA: iif you want? 

You do want. You want so bad you can feel your face heating up with second-hand embarrassment for yourself. Firing off a quick reply with your dorm included, you bounce down the side stairs two at a time. Your legs of course were kind of short for this, and in your ecstasy you almost bowled down the concrete steps - almost. Thankfully you were close to the bottom anyway. Looks like you won't be turning up with a bloody nose; crisis evaded.

You saw him before he saw you. Standing a little way off, he was leaning against the wall of another dorm, his head bent to the side as if studying something particularly interesting. The morning sun slashed rays across his face, blurring out one eye and leaving the other visible. Oh God, you can't believe he's real. Messenger bag covered in buttons you'd probably never get the meaning of, a single ear bud drooped around his neck, the nib black. The other, dangling from his fingers, was white. Still though, the stupid as fuck red-blue glasses sat perched on his nose. They made him look ridiculous, and his hair was worse than yours right now; it was doing some sort of gravity defying flip. It didn't stop you imagining what it would feel like between your fingers. Soft, like feathers probably. Maybe silky. Oh God, you are dia _bolically_ deprived.

"Vantas! You wanna move?" a voice from behind you rose precariously. Your friend with the aviators, the cocky bastard was using the volume of a football stadium to get your attention.

"Fuck off, Strider. I was just..."

"Admiring from afar?" he said, finishing your sentence.

Your face went red. There was no denying the humiliating act, but you still stopped yourself from smacking him across the jaw for pointing it out so blatantly. That sort of action would just confirm your act of creeping. You stared down Dave, thinking of something to say that doesn't sound to weird, or something that won't give him a serious case of the giggles. "What's his name?"

Dave quirked an eyebrow, the act a lot more dramatic when he did it than if, say, you had. 

"Interested, are we?" Dave coughed into his hand, hiding the smirk with it, "Sollux something. Capcom? Naaah...."

"Sollux," you repeated, tasting the name on your tongue. Honestly, it tasted weird, "Sol. Lux."

"Yup."

Brief encounter over, you steeled yourself for the gossip that Strider would spread about you and 'Sollux' (you hoped to fuck, Dave wouldn't lie to you about his name, would he? The lil shit would.)

You watched him go, ferociously wishing Sollux wasn't real anymore and you could just crawl back to your room and continue living a fiction-filled life and playing stupid games you pirated from unreliable sites. Ah, yes. That does seem a lot better than living a real life.

But wishes are fake, and no matter how much you curse it'll never happen. Sollux finally say you and waved lazily, the white ear-bud twizzling between his fingertips.


	4. What the fuckity shit sack is this feeling I'm feeling

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> 50's diners are horribly cliché, but who cares when everybody is cute.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Short chapter. 'gomen' as they say. But theyre getting longer, and I kinda wanted to end it here anyway because them just eating a meal would be boring 
> 
> Oh yes, I forgot to say. Thank you everyone who left kudos and bookmarked this, like seriously. I am so grateful I can feel like, 5 gratitude crystal already sprouting from my chest.

Oddly enough, there was never an awkward moment between the two of you, no weird silence that left you gasping for a restart button and him wishing he'd never made fun of your books and initiated this in the first place.

It was mostly him talking anyway; his dads (plural, you noticed) and their weird dual-stupidity. Honestly, he said, they were made for each other. There was his friend circle too, and some of the names you actually recognized for either forename or surname. Lalonde, Aradia, the girl with A TON of hair, another Strider - God forbid you meet HIM. Others, you'd never even heard of, but apparently still went to the same college as you both. Maybe you'll meet them. Who knows.

"So what about you? You haven't said one word."

You were slightly caught off-guard. You were perfectly happy to listen to his voice all day; to just have that for breakfast instead, with a side order of 'dat ass'. But APPARENTLY he expected to get to know you - who'd have thought that's what happened on dates? Fuck.

"I'm not that interesting," you say, stupidly.

He smiles at that, the corners of his mouth only lifting the tiniest fraction. He was either agreeing or disagreeing with you, but it was probably the first.

"C'mon. Tell me about the trashy novels. I'm _so_ interested in those, believe me."

"Trashy? Fucking excuse me," you started, unable to stop from defending something you actually agreed was in fact a pile of trash, "you can learn a lot from romance novels. For example, the body language a person uses to show affection; it comes in useful if you're trying to be downright fucking obvious you like someone."

Woops, looks like the brain-buckle just snapped. Better get a hold on that if you want to preserve this beautiful blossoming relationship. 

"Like what?" Sollux glanced down at you through his lenses, walking deliberately slowly so that he could hear you. You suddenly felt like you were under a spotlight, and oh God, is he actually showing some of the _signs_. Either that or you're delusional; he probably only wants to mess with you - typical.

"Like...fuck," you mumbled, dumbstruck, "Eye-contact. Or...physical contact; a hand on a shoulder, or something less obvious. Like knuckle touching," it sounded less stupid in your head, in all honesty; these sorts of things only applied to book characters and the world of fiction. But you sounded like you knew your shit, and that isn't necessarily a bad thing. So as long as he drops the subject, you think you'll be pretty chill here on out.

"Sometimes that stuff is unavoidable, so it's not like it's true to the fucking word of romance," you finished.

Sollux stopped walking. You didn't know why, but you had a sickening feeling it was a build-up to... _something_. He looked you dead in the eyes, not through lenses or anything, and you could see the heterochromatic irises he'd offhandedly mentioned before. Blue and hazel. You kinda wish you hadn't told him about the _fucking signs._ He took one of your hands, not holding it, just by the wrist. Even that contact was giving you a burning feeling inside; like your heart had eaten a hot pepper. He brushed his fingers along yours slowly, your tips together for a split second and leaving a tingling trail of 'what the fuckity shit sack is this feeling I am feeling' in your stomach, he smiled, entirely shit-eating and idiotic on his face. But he dropped your wrist and walked on, like nothing happened, leaving you standing like an idiot, eyes shaped like conflicted question mark hearts.

What an asshole.

 

You'd caught up with him on your tiny legs, taking fifteen steps for every 0.2 he took. It was just as well you had caught up; the douche had swung into a café like an elastic band. Your eyes almost missed him, but he'd practically smuggled you in the moment you were visible through the window. More physical contact. Huh.

The smell of sizzling bacon, baked beans, and fruity milkshakes hit your nostrils like an egg hitting a wall. Satisfying at first, but kind of gross afterwards. It didn't stop your stomach rumbling like a chainsaw though, and you were thankful that it was a busy place to be in. The theme, as you reluctantly noticed, was a retro-style diner. Vibrant red and white colour scheme, with hits of monochrome on walls and pale blue accents here and there. The staff were all sickeningly dressed like the cast of Grease. Why the ever-loving fuck does this place exist. 

Sollux had disappeared ahead of you while you were daydreaming, and he beckoned you towards him with an outstretched hand. (He had really nice hands) The other was curled over the back of a booth, possessively claiming it as his. No amount of wishing that the booth was you would make it true, so you swallowed your weird fantasy and pressed forward through the throng and slid casually into the booth's squishy seating. You poked your finger into a tear in the leather, pulling out the stuffing while you absent-mindedly assessed your situation. And you stared a lot at Sollux, which you can't say was intentionally a thing you were going to do. (It was).

You didn't believe in """love""" at first sight, because to you it seemed like a shallow sort of thing to happen. Yes, you were a huge romantic, no arguing in that area, and the prospect of actually meeting someone so utterly fantastic sounded like heaven on a platter, served with a side of life-long dreaming. But didn't anyone care about personalities anymore? And yet...here you were falling down the stairs at the very sight of him in front of you.

"Coffee?" the chirpy waitress you'd glimpsed on your way in said to you both, her actual voice _bubbling_ with glee. You didn't think you could meet anyone more pleasant. You think you might have hated it. Her hair was like a giant cloud of dark brown, and your pretty sure she shed onto your place-mat on the table. 

In her hands she held a notepad, customary, and a pen that glittered with way too many tiny seashells stuck onto the casing. Where would anyone even find a pen like that? At the bottom of the ocean? Poseidon's secretary sure wouldn't be happy to hear that a 50's waitress had stolen her favourite pen.

"Ah...yeah. Kk, you?" You nodded, quickly puzzled by the new nickname. 

"I'll be back with menus!" She grinned, and flounced back to the counter before you could blink.

There was a moment of silence, before you snorted unattractively and said, "'Kk'?"

Sollux blushed...which was more than odd in your opinion. His tongue darted out to dry his lips, momentarily freezing in place before retreating back in again.

"Shut up, it's just a thing I do."

You didn't know what to say to that, so you laughed quietly into your hands while you waited for the coffee. You're pretty sure you liked him more than a friend, and if you didn't spend most of your life dedicating lonely weekends to romantic comedies, you would have outright dismissed the thought that he liked you back. You might possibly have someone to watch them with, now that you think about it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading!!


	5. And that's a goddamn fact

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Karkat turns into a little green monster. (A CHERUB??) 
> 
> And I shamelessly include pale ships in the background.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> SHAMELESSLY INCLUDES ONE OF MY FAVORITE SHIPS. But also one of my not so faves eh

Sollux paid for the breakfast, naturally. You wouldn't have complained if you were to pay for it, but if only for the fact the bubbly coffee girl gave you a discount because Sollux kept making her giggle hysterically. You were feeling pretty green right about then, but you tried to remind yourself that Sollux was with you because he wanted to be - which was hard, considering you can be an envious lil shit when the mood's right. You don't speak of the time you tried to share a girl who was dating Dave because she was 'your one and only'. Never.

He walked you back to your dorm, matching his steps to yours and listening to every word you said - he didn't even mention the fact that every word you said was complete bullshit about your room mate.

"So I said to him - no, listen - I said to him, 'why are you so obsessed with this girl?' and holy fuck Sollux, he started to cry, what a fucking child."

Sollux was in hysterics at this point, hating your room mate as much as you and maybe even more. You couldn't count the amount of times your room mate has done something like that, he was so melodramatic it hurt you to think about. You really don't think he and Sollux would get along - which lead you to hope they never meet in their entire existence.

"So what'd you do?"

"Well I'm not an asshole," you said defensively, trailing off into the collar of your - room mate's - shirt and refusing to look Sollux in the eyes. "I...made him hot chocolate...and took him to the movies."

Sollux was silent for a beat of four, before uttering a single question that somehow seemed more embarassing than him laughing at you.

"...Are you serious?"

"Fuck you. He's...like a hate-friend, you know? I can't fucking stand him, don't get me wrong he's the biggest pile of shit you could ever meet, but he's still my room mate."

He nodded, maybe understanding, maybe not, but he didn't laugh at you which was a little better, you guessed, "I...guess I get what you mean about roommates. I mean sometimes they just need...comforting?"

Your eyes widened an impressive amount - it probably sounded a lot less suggestive in his head but now you were really goddamn annoyed about it, why.

"No, fuck..." Sollux threw up his hands, exasperated. It was kind of endearing. "I just...we 'cuddle' sometimes," Sollux winced. "It's nice, shut up."

"Are you trying to make me jealous?" You smiled when you said it, even though inside you were churning around and burning green lava.

The idea of snuggling with yours was really fucking weird and alien, both of you curled up watching a movie on your laptop. You wouldn't say no if he asked...but still, it was something you wouldn't actually tell anyone you'd just met. Or anyone at all for that matter.

"Fuck off," he muttered, bumping you with his shoulder. "At least my room mate isn't a dick."

"He's the biggest," you snorted, fishing out your keys while you said it.

Sollux smirked, and you felt like the worst person for understanding his stupid joke. You hated being the brunt of a 'that's what she said'. Cleared the air a little though, and you felt yourself forgiving him for saying something so stupid. You gave him the finger, a gesture that was all too familiar to you; giving it to someone though, was like a way of saying, 'okay, we're friends now.' Not just anyone got the pleasure of your finger. Suddenly you wish your brain would shut up and stop saying innuendos in the presence of your new interest.

You had in your hands your keys, but Sollux was standing against your door, his backside covering the door handle - the unfortunate (and possibly fortunate) length of his legs meant the act was unavoidable. Putting your hand on it afterwards could not be so easily done with that in mind. You looked at Sollux, not knowing quite how to tell him to move without sounding rude and oops your face was suddenly a lot closer to his.

You held your breath, feeling Sollux's own warmth on your face. You got the same feeling you get when you've woken up hungry, unable to move and really fucking nauseous. A thousand thoughts skimmed through your brain, but the one that stood out was the one you listened to. Don't ruin it. Just, don't. The air seemed a lot warmer.

You saw an opening under his arm, and dove for the door, swerving his mouth like you were playing Mario Kart and he was a green shell. Not your best metaphor. You plunged the key into the hole, peeking over your shoulder at the wounded nerd you will probably spend the next year of your life regretting not kissing his mouth.

Oh fuck, your brain whispered menacingly. You just rejected him and he looks really fucking disappointed you heartless monster why would you do that what a stupid idiot.

"Uh..." Your mouth betrayed you.

"Uh," Sollux mimicked, hiding his face. "Sorry."

You shook your head, but the real embarrassment you were experiencing that stopped you from saying anything was probably twenty rungs below Sollux's. Yours was more like second-hand, if anything.

"I'll...text you if that wasn't way too awkward."

Aaaaand he was gone, leaving behind a billowing cloud of very sad Sollux-dust. The door behind you opened like there was a hurricane taking it off it's hinges. 

"Who the hell was that?"

 

You weren't expecting that at all. You thought maybe you'd had a good thing going, you kinda thought you were being just as blatantly obvious you liked him as he was. But _clearly_ that was the wrong asumption to make. Maybe it was what you said about your room mate? Oh God, it was. He was obvioulsy upset by it and now you've blown it God FUCK. You can be really stupid sometimes.

It's time like this you actually do want to cuddle the fuck out of somebody, and your room mate was usually there to do it. Except when you walked through the door you were greeted to his friend on your bed. You couldn't resent him more.

"John! Get your ass going, how long does it take to take a piss?" he hollered, either blatantly ignoring you or staring right at you you had no idea.

"He's not coming out of there for a while, if that's what he said he was doing."

Dave's head whipped around to your voice, making it clear he recognized you inhabitence of this room. Not so much your possession of the bed, but it was a start. He suddenly smiled, the curve of his mouth sinister.

"How was your date?"

Fuck.

"Not a total fail, if that's what you were hoping for."

You didn't feel like putting all of your attention on him, honestly, you wanted the conversation to be over before it had started. You sat at your desk chair, awakening your laptop from it's sleep and trying to remember what you were doing last.

"Bro, if that wasn't the saddest tone of voice you just used then I might as well be the President of Unironic Shenanigans. Tell your uncle Strider what Vantas did."

You hate him. That's it. You really do, and that's what makes you want to tell him everything.

You breathed in for three counts through your nose and let it out slowly through your mouth. If he laughs you might blow a fuse.

"I tried to kiss him and he just...dodged."

Dave whistled, long and low, and visibly winced. "I'd say he's not interested but -"

" _Please_ don't make this shitty day any worse. Just shut up. Stop what you were going to say."

He shrugged and pursed his lips, making a 'psh' noise. "Fine. If you _really_ don't wanna hear about Vantas gasping for your nerdy behind then fine, I'll get outta your hair. Boy likes ya', that's a goddamn fact."

You might have pissed yourself from that news, if John hadn't emerged from the bathroom at that second.


	6. Fish metaphors

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> All aboard the PepsiCola express train.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry if you didn't want DaveJohn, but I wanted to throw in a lil background pairing and wHO BETTER THAN DAVEJOHN?
> 
> Thanks again for the kudos' and bookmarks (10!??? u wot) I really appreciate it! <3

"Eridan, I said _leave it_."

 

After the fifth or sixth time of saying so, he seemed to have gotten it into his head that "leave it" meant "yes I want to tell you all of the details". He was following you around like a dog, only stopping when you went into the bathroom to stab the soap - you eyed his hair products while you were in there, thinking about his reaction if you threw them in the toilet.

 

" _Please._ You think I'd spend all this time as your room mate if I didn't care about your problems? That’s a load of bull, Kar."

 

You blinked in realization. He had a fair point, as sour as he was to you all the time...you both definitely cared a little bit for him. Neither of you would have stuck around in the same room as each other if you wanted to rip the other’s arms off all the time – you don’t think. Maybe you should tell him, just a little bit. It can't hurt, right? He genuinely sounds like he cares, and it might be nice to get your worries out into the open. You drop the soap bar in the sink, and unlock the door. Eridan stumbled forward, not doing much to hide the fact his face was pressed against the wood.

 

" Stop following me like a fucking dog and I'll tell you, dickface."

 

-

 

"John, all I'm saying is, there are better -"

 

John's mouth found your neck, trailing kisses down to your collar bone. His mouth was warm, leaving a hot line against your skin. You almost jumped out of his arms; it wasn't like John to do something so...forward. Especially in public, a _park_ for Christ's sake, he was more of a 'is the door closed right is it locked Dave do you have a steel door lying around also where are the padlocks' kind of guy. Well, okay, you were kind of shaded from any view a bit and no one was actually in the park at the time, and not that you were complaining anyway - getting him to respond to you is like the Quest for Eternal Youth; John was just a fountain waiting to spout. His teeth grazed your skin and you shivered, taking in a hissed breath, he sucked over the mark and you couldn't help but think if the red mark it would leave tomorrow. Totally worth it.

 

" - movies," You breathed out.

 

John snickered against your skin, leaving one last chaste kiss below your ear before resting his head on your shoulder. His dark hair tickled your cheek, but you only pressed into it. No point fighting the Egbertian-charm.

 

"Bullshit," John yawned. "I know my movies."

 

You rolled your eyes, landing them on him. From where you were sitting on the grassy hill, you could see every detail of his face; the two tiny marks on the bridge of his nose where he'd taken off his glasses, the flush on his cheeks from the warm air. He looked so at peace, like he could just fall asleep right then and there. You’d let him, and as uncomfortable as you were it seemed like a great idea. You were quite tired yourself, come to think of it. Your mouth quirked up of its own accord; part of you wondered how the hell you ever did anything to deserve someone like Egbert, and the other what the fuck he ever did to deserve your lazy ass. You'd never say that out loud.

 

"Dave?"

 

You tilted your head down, acknowledging him with a nod.

 

It was then that John broke the cosy embrace to push you into the grass, looming over you like some kind of animal. He wasn’t so relaxed right now, where the hell did that come from. You didn't stop to think about it for much longer when he'd laced his fingers through your hair, and you removed your shades, casting them to God knows where beside you. Your palm found the back of his neck, and he gasped a little at the cold of your fingers on his warm back. You brought his head down to touch yours, your noses colliding. He shifted his weight on you, accidentally kneeing you in the gut like the awkward dork he is, and you opened your mouth in a gasp; apparently he took this as the opportunity to kiss you. You gladly accepted, kissing him back as though he might break. You wanted to savour this moment for as long as possible.

 

You were suddenly aware of the possibility that there actually could be someone lurking, and pair that with the fact that both of you were buried pretty deep into Narnia, it was a confusing situation. But John took the thought away from you when he grinded down on you, ripping away any last shred of your innocence with it. You really were enjoying this guy’s company, and you really could not be held accountable for how much you wanted to roll your hips right back. John giggled into your mouth, leaving you gaping to trail more kisses down your throat.

 

"What the hell," You heard yourself mumbling. He silenced you by leaning into your body, putting more pressure on your general crotch area than you'd like in the park. But the only sound you made was an embarrassing gasp of pleasure, which made him grin like a harlequin. Your exhibitionist subconscious strained against your thoughts of reason.

 

You were not being the one on the grass.

 

You swung his hips off of you, topsy-turvying your positions so that he was the one on the bottom. What you didn't account for, was gravity.

 

Before you could even register the look on John's face, the both of you were locked in an embrace, tumbling down the rest of the hill like a giant snowball in an avalanche. You would give anything to see what you both looked like, just so you could take a picture and laugh at it for the rest of your life. But in reality, it really fucking hurt; John's elbows were attacking you like Bro’s sword.

 

When you rolled to a stop at the bottom, John was on his back laughing hysterically, blades of stray grass tucked into his hair, while you were face planted in the dirt, immediately regretting trying to take the upper hand. For God's sake Strider, you've lost your charms to a trickster. Never have you felt more like a complete idiot fr ruining both a good moment and creating another bad one.

 

"Shut up," You grumbled, getting to your knees to look for damages. You’ll probably have a nasty mark on your face from the rolling around, as well as the hickey’s John had left on purpose and the bruises his dagger elbows left on accident.

 

He shuffled forward on his knees, still snorting quietly to himself as he took your cheeks between his hands.

 

"Aw, come on. That was fun."

 

"Oh really? Mister.Let's-get-Dave-hot-and-bothered-in-the-park," you pouted melodramatically, raising your nose at him, but he just kissed the end, and laughed in your face again.

 

"Yeah, it really went down hill."

 

"If that was a pun, I swear to God I'll kick your ass out of the closet."

 

"Only if you come out first," John smiled sweetly and squeezed your cheeks, leaving you annoyed and wanting more. You would definitely kick yourself out of the closet too if it meant more of that.

 

-

 

Eridan was quiet for a second before launching into his much used line, "I don't like him." At this point, it was elementary; anyone you got close to, Eridan hated with every fibre of his being. He still hadn't warmed up to Gamzee, his general attitude towards him was on sub-zero levels, even though he'd never actually done anything. Gamzee was like a pet rock – how could anyone hate that?

 

"That's what he said about you, asshole. So much in common already."

 

Eridan’s eyes lit up like New York. Here we go.

 

"You talked about me? What did you say? What exactly did _he_ say - wait no, it was bad, I don't wanna know."

 

You’ve repeatedly told him things in the hopes he'd offer advice, but this was as far as you’d ever get. Maybe the odd comment about 'doing what you think is right' or 'don't forget to buy instant noodles when you leave'. It was a lost effort, really. It seemed like Eridan wished you had a mirror strapped to your face when he looked at you, and you'd almost thought of removing all of them from the room to see what he'd do. But that led to him complaining, and fuck that particular chorus of disorderly sound you didn't want to hear ever.

 

"So...should I text him? He said he would -"

 

"Woah. No. Kar, if there is one thing you should do, it's not text, or call him. Lead him on like a worm on a hook, and then at the last minute, _reel him in_. Really the only thing to do."

 

"Yeah sure. Maybe I can be just as lonely as you if I do that."

 

He bristled under the crude purple jacket he had on, but quickly recovered with a saying you hated to the death.

 

"There's plenty of fish in the sea, Kar. We just have to catch the right one."


	7. I'm too lazy to think of a better title

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Once again, Karkat is a lil baby.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> grumble grumble this chapter is longer but not as exciting as it could be. But it'd been sitting in my drafts for a while and I just wanted to finish it. So here. LMAO YOU ARE GOING TO BE SO DISAPPOINTED.

You lay on your bed twiddling your thumbs and staring at the ceiling, too bored to even finish your coding for the day. You were way behind as it was, your comp-sci teacher on your ass as it was for being too 'advanced' in your studies, and yet there he was complaining that you were behind! But...you just didn't feel like doing it. If worse comes to worst, you could always binge and do an all-night coding session, it isn't like it's _that_ important wait what are you saying of course it's important! There are lives at stake! You haven't graced the comforting sight of a line of jumbled text in a long while, it was about time you sat down and cracked out some code.

 

You _think_ there's too much on your mind. You also think you should do something about it, but the other thoughts you've been thinking since a few hours ago just won't go away.

 

He DODGED for crying out loud; you feel like a big FAILURE. You wouldn't have gone for it if he didn't seem like he wanted to, in fact you would have been completely oblivious if it weren't for that whole speech about 'romance' and all of that nonsense you only half listened to.

 

Your phone buzzed, and your heart did an acrobatic flip off of the fucking handle for a second before you realize it's just your room mate, John. What does he want. Can't he tell you're trying to brood.

 

EB: hey!  
EB: so.  
EB: dave told me about your date......  
EB: i didn't know you two were buddies!  
EB: oh and um  
EB: i'm really sorry man!  
EB: ill bring you raspberry and bubblegum icecream when i get back! we can talk if you want?  
EB: sollux are you there????

 

You thought about not replying at all and just telling him you were sleeping later, but then he'd ask why you were sleeping in the middle of the day and not "being a nerd like always". So you threw back a message, and wiped the frown from your face like grime on a window. The rest of today will be very long, you think. Also, note to self: Murder Dave.

 

TA: ii hate ra2pberry  
TA: are you tryiing two make me feel wor2e?   
EB: duh sorry.  
EB: what do you want then?   
TA: honeycomb would be niice  
TA: wiith the liittle raiinbow 2priinkle2 two   
EB: GOD you're so picky.  
EB: back in a few! keep the bed warm!! ;)

 

You think you just stopped breathing. This kid is literally going to take away your breath and kill you. In the worst way possible. Why is he real?

 

TA: wa2 that a fuckiing wiink face  
TA: EB ii 2wear two god  
TA: ju2t get back here a2ap

 

You watch your yellow text load on the screen, and switch off your phone. You're actually pretty tired come to think of it, John can't complain that you're slacking if you say it's a nap and he wouldn't be back for a while anyway, so a few winks wouldn't hurt? You did get up pretty early, after all.

 

You turn on your side, fluffing your pillow and curling into a bony ball that didn't make you look any smaller. You hit the bedding with a 'floof' and drift off, thinking of ice cream.

 

 

When you open your eyes, the room is darker. You slept a good four hours or maybe more, which doesn't really count as a nap anymore but no one is around to correct you on that, so you wave it off. John's probably come and gone, or not even come at all. Doesn't matter, you think, ice cream right now sounds kind of sickening; but you could murder an omelette. Too bad you have no idea how to even begin making one. Eggs. Then what? Fuck, who knows.

 

You turn on your lamp, shielding our eyes, then your phone. You leave your glasses to the side, they aren't even that important honestly. You still don't know why you wear them. It seems everyone wants to reach you, surprisingly. You have 2 messages from John, something about not even coming back at all. He's 'sorry!', but you're more interested in the other messages. The caps-locked angry ones in grey, the really special ones that make you suddenly not half-asleep and twice awake instead. You begin your descent into the reams of text, rubbing an eye free of crust.

 

CG: HEY  
CG: SO  
CG: IM SORRY ABOUT EARLIER BUT IM JUST A LITTLE BIT  
CG: LOOK I WASNT REJECTING YOU IF THATS WHAT YOU THINK. I HONESTLY HAD FUN TODAY!  
CG: FUCK THAT SOUNDED CHEESY  
CG: JUST HEAR ME OUT  
CG: I WANT TO SEE YOU AGAIN, TOMORROW  
CG: IF THATS A THING YOUD LIKE TO HAPPEN AND IM NOT JUST BEING AN ASSUMPTION-MAKING BAG OF OVERSIZED HORSE DICKS  
CG: SO  
CG: YES OR NO  
CG: MAYBE?  
CG: IF I WAS A HUGE SHIT EATING ASSHOLE I WOULD SAY "I HAVE BIGGER FISH TO FRY" BUT IM NOT  
CG: PLEASE  
CG: CAN WE JUST ESTABLISH THAT I WOULDNT ACTUALLY SAY SOMETHING SO DOUCHEY I MEAN THATS A LITERAL QUOTE FROM EMPEROR AMPORA HIMSELF, IM JUST BORROWING IT FOR THE EFFECT  
CG: SOLLUX IF YOU SAY NO ID UNDERSTAND BUT CAN YOU PLEASE SAY SOMETHING SO IM NOT GAWPING DESPERATELY LIKE A CRACKHEAD AT A REHABILITATION CENTER

 

You almost don't want to reply because it is so entertaining, and also because your sleeping brain is partially convinced this isn't real and you just woke up in another dream, like some sort of cruel dreamception. But one pinch of your arm convinces you, so you man the fuck up and reply coolly:

 

TA: 2ure

 

His reply is almost instant; was he sitting by his phone waiting? His last reply was about an hour ago, he couldn't have been sitting there that long...

 

CG: WHAT?   
TA: unle22 youve changed your miind   
CG: NO IF COURSE NOT  
CG: DONT READ ANYTHING ELSE UP THERE I WAS JUST SPOUTING SHIT   
TA: two late eheheheh  
TA: but 2eriiou2ly, iit2 2tiill pretty early   
CG: SO?   
TA: we dont have two waiit untiil twomorrow   
CG: ARE  
CG: WHAT

 

You eyes roll so hard you can literally see the old socks under your bed from where your eyes had fallen out of your skull.

 

TA: je2u2 iim not iinviitiing you two bed iim ju2t 2ayiing we could  
TA: go for a walk around campu2 or 2omethiing   
CG: OH  
CG: OKAY THEN  
CG: WE CAN DO THAT   
TA: awe2ome iill 2top by your2 then

 

You log off with an unexpected grin on your face; Sollux Captor does not grin. He may only frown or show sarcastic sympathy at appropriate intervals. You toilet, wash and pull on your shoes; had you ever been this excited to go for a walk, you think that would be a miraculous occurrence, if not a world phenomena worth noting. But you were too pleased with yourself for not fucking up again to think about that, looking back at your moodiness earlier you seemed like such a melodramatic idiot; you switch off your lamp and grab your keys, leaving and locking the door with a spring in your step. You really are a sight.

 

 

You were biting your knuckles with the anticipation of waiting for Sollux by the time 10pm rolled around. Eridan had hushed you for a while, patting your back when you'd almost had a heart attack over him not replying to the first message. He'd really outdone himself, you thought, the bastard didn't even mutter a word after you'd gone against his advice, and he hadn't even abandoned you until the last minute. It was a new personal best. He'd patted you uncharacteristically on the head before disappearing into the bathroom with an armful of scented candles - which was about an hour ago, now that you thought about it. The guy had uncharted amounts of time for relaxing and pampering. Maybe that's why you were so crabby, as he'd say, probably.

 

Now you were alone, waiting for the knock at your door that you didn't want to hear, but longed for it to come. You'd tied your shoes two or three times over, putting on and shucking off your jacket like a second skin. Eridan's singing wavered like a toilet flushing in the background, and you couldn't possibly think how bad it would be if Sollux turned up right then.

 

And then there was a knock; two short ones, then two more. You sat up like an arrow fired from a bow. It's best to leave while you can, and be free of Ampora's wailing as soon as possible. You launch yourself over the dirty socks on the floor and pull open the door, met by Sollux himself. He looked a little sleepy, like he'd just woken up and rolled over to your room. He'd forgotten his glasses.

 

Sollux peeked inside, raising an eyebrow, "Is that your room mate? ...Singing?"

 

"I wouldn't really say 'singing'," you wince as his cries reach a crescendo, glass shattering and aneurysm sparking. You push Sollux out the door and close it behind you before his first impression gets any ideas. Not that you care what he thinks of Eridan.

 

It's quiet for a while. You both walk down the stairs and onto the grounds, not saying anything at all. You steal sideways glances at him the whole way downstairs; he looked bleary-eyed and...(kissable, wow) his hair was sticking up more than usual, the back of it pointing directly upwards like he'd lay on it funny. He was probably sleeping and you woke him up, you dumb fuck. But...you're glad? He's actually somewhat forgiven you for being weird, and you just want to kiss hi more with that knowledge. You fiddle with the zip on your jacket, feeling the cold whisk through the open sides. You swear as it catches in your t-shirt, fucking zips. Sollux clears his throat, and you hear him move forward rather than see him.

 

"Here."

 

He takes the zip from your hands, gently clothing you like a child. It was strange, but nice. (A small part of you wondered what it would feel like if he was taking off your clothes, not putting them on. You forced that down - you don't want to go any redder do you?). You risk looking him in the eyes when he'd finished, and he offers you a small smile. You still feel a little awkward, but after thinking over for a good 4 hours, you think you really should have just kissed him earlier. You're so stupid sometimes. Look at him! How did you refuse that. You hate your past self, sometimes.

 

You hit yourself mentally. You can feel this being a bad idea, you can sense your future self regretting this already. But. You slide your hand around his neck, feeling him shiver from your touch, and you drag him down to your height, catching both of you off guard. His hands tighten on the lapels of your jacket, and you are acutely aware of his nose brushing yours. It's all so abrupt and sudden, that, having initiated this, you couldn't actually take control of your brain and kiss him. You could feel his breath ghosting your lips, sharing your breath and your own personal space with him - time freezes and you aren't quite sure what's going on. Your eyes are on his mouth, wanting so bad to just. Lean in. And.

 

You touch, almost kissing him, but the dreaded interruption you never would have thought were things that actually happened, happened. A yelp from the darkness, followed by a partially masculine giggle wavered from behind Sollux. You both pulled apart, embarrassed again for the rest of your lives. You glanced at him sideways, and faint recognition crossed his eyes. You can feel the rest of this night becoming very, very long.

 

Two figures emerge, joking and hugging; your heart physically aches. Why can't _you_ be as carefree as that?! God, your love life is really sad. You can't even kiss someone you like without losing your shit.

 

Then you recognize them, and your heart drops into your stomach. By Sollux's reaction, his does too.


	8. I'm gay and I'm proud!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Uh oh, Dave isn't so cool and collected now, is he?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's taken me two months to write this and I am sooooo sorry. This chapter was just so hard to write, for the simple fact that I can't write tension. So taKE IT BEFORE I CHANGE MY MIND.
> 
> EDIT: okay after thinking of backstory there may be noticable changes to this chapter and daves life so yeeee

You'd thought about coming out before. None of that 'I am openly gay and proud!' shit, because while you were openly...something to yourself, you couldn't really imagine a world where everybody else knew it. Rose probably did, with her strange voodoo lesbian witch shit, but whether she knew and wasn't saying anything wasn't a question you wanted to ask her, to be safe. John of course knew, he was the one sucking your dick after all - wouldn't make any sense if he thought you were straight, would it? Coming out to your close friends seemed like a better idea than anything else; not that you really had any of those back in Texas. You were all about being online, you were wired up to the internet and only ever socialised there if you had to. You had your selection of buddies; Rose, Jade, John and later Karkat. And then smatterings of people you can’t even remember the full names of and haven’t spoken to since you were fifteen. You’d have told them in more confidence than either of your brothers…but you hadn’t exactly done just that, had you? It wasn’t until you’d met John in person that…yeah, you were definitely going to tell him. You liked him, a lot, he made you feel happy and actually in-tune with life…And he was/is an open-minded lil' squirt. You did it while you visiting him in Washington one week in Summer, you were playing some shitty computer game, a flash game on Newgrounds or some other dumb website - he took it lightly. Even let you win. So that was a crisis evaded. The second time you did it was right around the time you and he hooked up for the first time – the summer before college, and also the same summer Karkat had come to stay with you. Then, it was an awkward few weeks. You’d invited Karkat because of a special reason…Karkat wasn’t exactly unattractive, and you knew you’d have had a better chance being with him than John. Ironic how that worked out. And also incredibly strange how none of your family caught wind of how gay you really were. So you all went to college, you with a secret boyfriend and Karkat still unknowing. 

You'd thought about telling Bro and almost did every time he showed up, but Bro is Bro, and unfortunately you can't do anything about that. So you swallowed your words like bitter coffee. He wasn't homophobic or discriminating in any way, which you _suppose_ helped you out while you were growing up with him. Dirk could tell you that. He was out, he was happy with being that, and you were stuck in the dark like always, brooding over your inner turmoil like a teenager.

So what was your deal? 

Dirk didn't know about it either, which surprised you - you're almost sure the amount of jokes you've accidentally slipped in were enough of a hint. Weird that Dirk _OF ALL PEOPLE YOU KNOW_ , your twin for God's sake, hadn't the slightest idea that his brother was fucking a dude.

But you kinda wanted to keep it that way. You'd gotten so far, avoiding that little voice in your head that kept saying things like, 'wow, that guy right there? Hot damn,' from splaying itself out in the open, and while you hated to think of yourself as 'big-headed', you couldn't stop yourself from thinking of your stupid egotistical reputation being ruined, based solely on the amount of 'bitches' you got every night - which was ironically none, because you had John, and he's great. 

It was sort of a surprise when all of that careful planning on who was going to know about you and John just bundled itself into the same bag of secrecy that just happened to have a giant, gaping hole in it, so that all of those things you'd hidden in black trash bags just...tumbled out at once. Like spilling red wine on a white table cloth. Everyone can see it. There's no denying now. You were caught red handed.

And you sort of froze up.

Your lungs stopped working the same time as your heart took a triple dose of LSD, racing against the clock and also preventing you from breathing at all. Beside you, John was holding your wrist, his fingers sweaty and his skin warm from your own feverish touch. You were glad he was there to regulate your breathing, otherwise you’d have bolted, making a break for the nearest closet with a lock on the inside.

"Strider?","EB?" you heard simultaneously, outside of your protective shadow under the stairs. You should really rethink the whole, 'I'm a ninja, screw getting caught hurr hurr hurr,' because fuck if you were a shitty ninja.

Your body wanted to run, but John's fingers slipped easily through your own, preventing you from going anywhere without taking him too. His grip was tight and your chest loosened just a little bit - your breath wasn't as short as you thought.

John started to open his mouth, and you just had to wait, wait for it to end and for the nightmare that you didn't want to face to stop happening right this second. You couldn't look them in the eye. Karkat knew you as 'Strider', ego-maniacal asshole with a tendency to rap about the moldy cheese under his bed at any given moment. And Sollux was just as blind to you as you wanted him to be. Now was not the time for coming out stories.

Despite how dark it was, you could see the blank confusion on each of their faces. They were Medusa, and you, you were the unfortunate soul doomed to stay in their sculpture garden forever. Nothing but a rock.

A simple 'hey!' raced out of John's mouth before you could even process all of the thoughts in your head from crazy-person to English. He was walking forward now, out of the dark; the breeze that had picked up right around the time you'd stopped actually taking in oxygen, whisked through your thin shirt like a ghostly hand letting you know how cold you really felt inside.

This is not happening.

"Hold the fuck up," Karkat started, one finger pointed into the air like he was in a cartoon show declaring the most irrelevant shit, "are you two...you know...I mean. Dave...I didn't know you were...are you?"

"It's not..." you thought about lying to them, about telling the same bullshit story you told everyone who asked questions about how close you two were. But you thought about John. How did _he_ feel? You’d known before he'd wanted to say something, tell someone. But you didn't want to...surely he's sick of hearing the same record?

He squeezed your hand tighter and you stepped that little bit closer to him.

"Yeah. John and I are in fact doing the hanky-panky behind closed doors - you want details?" You could hear the strain in your voice, and it made you want to crawl into the back of your mind and never come out - in two different definitions of saying that.

Karkat blinked, lowering his hand and turning to Sollux as if searching for answers. The tension had a scent, you discovered - mortification. Despair. Utter embarrassment. And most of all, your good friend shame.

"Don't look at me, how the fuck would I know what he's into, I barely even know him." Sollux shook his head, cutting a glance toward you as if what he'd said could possibly help at all.

"It's not _my_ business," he mumbled, lowering his voice slightly. He was obviously directing this at Karkat, not meant to be heard, "or yours. Don't make a colossal deal out it."

Karkat was silent, but after a moment of silent exchange between the two, he nodded ever so slightly and turned back around to you, you specifically, much to the discomfort of your brand new crippling fear of being noticed. You weren't ready to speak again in case you literally upchucked your guts.

Karkat looked like he was thinking - the physical look of a speechless individual actually staring right in the face.

Then he said, surprisingly sensitive for a wolverine in clothing, "As long as you're alright...it's not my business. I won't tell anyone - if that's what you want. But really, Dave...the sooner you come out, the happier you'll be. I'm not going to spew some bullshit about 'staying yourself blah blah fuckin' blah', but being your friend here, I'm telling you from the bottom of my heart, _way_ deep down..."

He'd sucked in a breath, preparing for the oh-so inspiring speech he'd probably made before-hand in the hopes this would happen - but was quickly diminished by the lispy fool beside him. Sollux's fingers were pinching his lips together, comically, you'd say if you were in the mood to laugh.

"KK, please. Can you just stop, like right now. I'm 100% sure you've embarrassed everyone here, including the dead plants. Please."

He and Sollux bickered, the memory of Karkat asking about him _just that morning_ leaking from your brain, and being replaced by more domestic images of old married couples. You don't know if you were relieved or not that they'd shifted the attention.

John leaned over, his mouth at your ear, and whispered: "Thanks, for not...you know. Just...you did good."

You nudged him with your shoulder, and supposed that for the first time since figuring yourself out, you were okay with people knowing. (Not enough to actually _come out_ , goddamn. You're taking baby steps here), You cracked the edges of a smile, at both you being there with John, and Mr and Mrs. Vantas-Captor in the background.


	9. In which fuck they kissed

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Finally. The moment we have all been waiting for. Initiate Kiss Sequence: 5...4...3...2.......

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> whats that two chapters in one week after a whole 2 months of nothing
> 
> yes I know Im gr8
> 
> truth be told, I have no idea what is happening in this chapter. ill go back and fix some things later that maybe need fixed, but yeah im alright with this one
> 
> THANKS FOR THE KUDOS' :)

You'd been there for hours, sitting coccooned in a nest of what you could only describe as a form of torture. Slowly, your body would shrivel to nothing, leaving only a skeleton in its place. Sollux Captor; died trying to impress his...you weren't quiiiite sure what Karkat was at this point really. You should ask him, but you didn't really look forward to that conversation, and you wouldn't initiate it even if somehow someone was offering you the coding to programme your very own interdimensional portal on your home-pc. Not happening. Mainly because you could obviously do that yourself, you know, if you were better at coding.

Right now though, in this day and age where humanity had not gotten to that stage of space travel, you were stuck in a ball of blankets, awaiting your death sentence. Or, as you were told in a lengthy description with only minimal shouting, a 'blanket nest'. Sure, Karkat. Make it sound nice. Of course you fell for the bait.

But you were both cuddling, so you guess it's a start? Although, Karkat's head on your shoulder and your arm around his waist was probably as far as he was comfortable with. Which was _okay_ , because you were _patient_. Probably. If it eesults in both of your embarrassments again, it's best you just leave it - that was horrifying.

You could literally feel yourself boiling into a puddle - which, for the record, not attractive.

"I hate the way that they make these movies so fucking predictable - like, sure, I didn't expect her to be such a dick to everyone. But seriously, these directors think they're so fucking clever pairing her up with the douchebag. _Obviously_ that would happen, so stupid I can literally see it fail every class at highschool for being the stupiest motherfucker alive. And you'd think that such a well known guy would be able to produce a better movie than this piece of garbage. Did he find this at the side of the road or something? Probably ran over it on his way home, what an ass-licking toe rag, Jesus fucking Christ. Even your dorky roomate could make a better movie..."

You zoned out after "I hate the way they make these movies..." You don't think you've ever heard someone talk so much about a movie before, even John, the No.1 Movie Enthusiast. Now coincidentally tied for first place.

"Yeah I know right?"

As though his batteries had run out, Karkat stopped talking and paused the movie. Oh, boy. Not a good sign, considering he'd done that about four times since you entered the room. You kinda don't want to go through it for a fifth, or even for the first four times.

His full attention was on you now, turned around face-to-face shoulders tense. Like an angry kitten, you suppose. You're not going to _tell_ him you made the comparison, _God_ you don't have a death wish, do you?

"You aren't watching the movie, are you?"

There was probably a time in your life that you realised for definite that the male sex was as attractive to you as females, but not entirely enough to change your sexuality from bisexual to full-on homo. But right now, you think this is it. Karkat is it. He is the deciding point, this has been a memorable day and you don't want it to stop. Maybe you could programme a device that freezes time, because Karkat's eyelashes are so fucking heartbreaking and beautiful at the same time and you never thought you'd say _that_ but look now you have and you really think it's the goddamn poetic truth. Like one of those sappy poems from English class. Weird you've come become THAT guy, huh.

Karkat's hands are actually on you now, as oppose to wishing they were there, or him 'accidentally' touching you while you walked. Obviously you were dying slowly by the progression. Karkat looked like he had no idea what he was doing, awkwardly looking at your mouth and not actually saying anything. But thankfully, you saw the intent. YOU. KNOW. THIS.

You tightened your grip on his waist, bringing him around so that you were both more comfortable. The blankets covering you both remained there, like a cloth vice pulling you together. He was blocking the screen of the television now, but fuck if you cared, there was a cute guy pretty much _on your lap_ , who in their right minds would pick movies over this? Maybe Karkat. Definitely Karkat.

It wasn't you that made the first move, in fact, it wasn't even Karkat.

The door of Karkat's dorm room slammed open, and the lights turned on at full brightness, blinding both you and your lovely little friend. However, the guy standing at the door with a look of absolute horror was not so lovely, and not so little. More...sharp and tall. You guessed he was probably Karkat's room mate. And he looked quite pissed off, now that your eyes adjusted slightly. Shit. Awkward.

 

.

 

Can anything be more embarrassing? Actually, you can think of several things, but this would be at least top 5 in a list of many. Typical of life to screw you over just one more time.

Honestly, you wanted to throttle Eridan with your bare hands, but fuck the effort and FUCK if you were going to stop what you're doing. You're 18 years old, and never kissed anyone, what a sad life you've been living. Beneath you, Sollux squirmed, but you held him fast and shushed him.

You've waited too long for this.

"What the hell is goin' on in here? I go out for a few hours -"

" _Eridan can you please leave before I come over there so fucking help me._ " You...would rather stay where you are, though, thanks.

Eridan didn't move, but instead made a face that tore everything you love to pieces. He quirked a sculpted brow expertly, but otherwise, remained an asshole.

"ERIDAN."

"Yeah okay, whatever. I'll leave you two to make fish-faces at eachother all you like," he barked a laugh, before turning on his heels and making to leave, he stopped abruptly and looked over his shoulder at you, hand on the door frame, "lights on or off?'

You thought about just forgetting the whole thing, but at the last few seconds of this thought being processed, you muttereda little sourly, "...Off." Sollux laughed silently beneath you and you just couldn't WAIT to suffocate him with your mouth.

He left the sense of heavy shame on the air as he left, but thankfully, the darkness hid most of it. Most of your gross blushing anyway, you're sure Sollux didn't look so ridiculous. He probably does.

"KK, really -" He started to say, his voice still bubbling with laughter and tinkling with what you recognize as an irritating sound.

"Oh my God, shut _up_ , Sollux."

You grabbed his face with both hands, Eridan forgotton, and being the daring guy you obviously are, you kissed him. Not sporadically like a maniac, but pretty low-key, you guess. He tasted like the Haribo sour-mix you'd both been eating when watching the movie, and since you'd had pizza too, you hoped to all high heaven you didn't taste like peppers. That'd be hot. His lips were soft, and the slow movement they made across your own made you melt, his very presence was giving you chills.

But how would you know if that's normal? You really wouldn't, so how would _you_ know if you were over-reacting if, say, he made you gasp when his hands brushed the sensitive skin on your back? Or when the feeling of his tongue brushing yours and his teeth grazing your bottom lip made you want to literally crawl up to heaven's gates and decline the offer to go there because, thanks but no thanks God, you were already there?

Holy fuck, you might have just shit yourself - hypothetically speaking. You're dead.


	10. Lovebug, bro

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Karkat and Sollux get super pale.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> unrelated but i sure do like the way ive written gamzee. thats the only pride ill take, the way ive written a character with like, 3 lines. how sad. anyway enjoy :))  
> oh and here is tumblr: kannytown.tumblr.com

"So you really like this dude, huh?"

You don't really know how you came to be in this position; back at the little diner Sollux had taken you to on that first date. It'd been about 3 weeks since meeting Sollux, and you think now would be a good time to clock up on how you've really been feeling. But you weren't there with him, instead you were sat down with Gamzee, spilling the beans about your crush and awaiting guidance from possibly the least romantically aware person on the planet. You needed Gamzee though. He was like your constantly high hippy counselor. Though obviously you didn't hate him as much as you would an actual counselor - he actually knew how to help people.

"Uh huh. I think I do," you felt like a huge sap, Karkat Vantas, actually confessing he likes someone, "I mean...everytime I see him it's like...how could I even describe it? My heart does this stupid flippy thing, and I can't even feel my fucking legs anymore..." You smile like an idiot, but Gamzee just watches you lazily and sips from his drink.

You're also aware that you've gone bright red, but he is patient and considerate and waits for you to calm the fuck down before saying anything. You breathe in, feeling pressure settle on your head, unable to hold your emotions in for any longer.

"I just really fucking like him."

The noise in the diner overpasses your voice a lot, so you're thankful no one can hear your pathetic love confessions beyond a low hum. Gamzee hears you though, and leans over both his and your drinks to pat your shoulder affectionately. He doesn't take his hand away when he says it, but just continues to give you the wisest fucking look you've ever seen.

"Sounds like Karbro is in love," the smile he pulls is heartfelt, but you suddenly have the urge to brush his hand away and leave. You are not in love. This is just a run of the mill crush. What is Gamzee even thinking?

"You got a case of the lovebug, bro. Ain't nothin' you can do about it now but sit it out and accept it. There ain't no cure for bein' in love but lovin' somebody." He traces a heart in the air absently mindedly with his other hand and closes his eyes.

That may have actually been profound, and a part of you wonders how Gamzee is still single. Then you remember the clown shit, and check yourself. Probably not what someone looks for in a guy.

He removes his hand and spreads both of them wide as if to finalize the outcome of your situation. What if he's right? Being with Sollux makes you happy; the way he tries to hold your hand by brushing his fingers against yours, even though he knows it pisses you off, and how sometimes when you walk out of class, he's just there. Ready to walk you back to your room as if he didn't have better things to do. You can't remember the last time you felt adored, and Sollux very much likes you in that way. You like him back.

"If you want my opinion, I say tell him how ya feel. It's like my big bro says...or doesn't say really 'cus of the whole...yeah..."

You don't get to hear what his brother says, because he's daydreamed himself up a whole universe and retreated into it. But you kinda see what he's getting at. Live for the moment, Vantas. Show some feeling.

He suddenly perks up, almost dropping the mug he'd picked up. It spilled a little over the edge, but you don't think that really mattered to him at all. He looked dazed for a second, before focusing in on you more than he ever had before. It was...strange.

"I forgot to say, I heard your bro was gonna be in town,"

You probably pissed yourself, but the utter shock from just thinking about it dulled your senses to 0. Not that you hated your brother...well okay maybe you did, just a little.

"Saw him a while ago, or was it...nah it wasn't that. I think my bro's chick, Meulin, said something, but I'm just spoutin' my findings. Y'all should still be on the lookout."

"Nice. More shit to deal with. If he thinks he's staying with me he can fuck right off back to wherever he was before. I don't have time for his shitty social justice ranting."

You sit back and fold your arms, wary of the stares some people were slinging you. Who cared, everyone should know how fucking annoying he is.

Gamzee said nothing, just shrugged one shoulder and sipped his herbal. You swear to God, if Kankri even sets foot on College campus you may have to cut them both off. Can you imagine if he met Sollux? You rather wouldn't.

 

You're aimlessly wandering around your room trying to figure out your life when John finally shouts at you for being annoying. You wouldn't blame him; since you haven't heard from Karkat today you kind of had no idea how to live your life anymore. For the past three weeks everyday was more or less: text Karkat, go to class, text Karkat, see Karkat, sleep. Not always in that order, but now that Karkat was missing from the equation you felt...lonely. What did you even do before that?

"Sollux seriously, sit down or something, you're making my head hurt," John muttered from behind his laptop. Talking to Dave, maybe. 

Ever since you found out about that it's made things more...awkward between the two of you. You felt like maybe the platonic cuddles didn't seem so platonic now that Karkat knew about them too, but you ignored that thought and went back to moping. You felt like your bed needed some love, so you lay down, hugging a pillow for all the emotional pain your body was going through. Now would be a good time to audition for 'Drama Queen', because you might actually have a chance of winning.

John must take pity on you, because you feel your bed depress beside you and turn to see him sitting cross legged on the edge, staring down at you with mild concern.

You immediately roll over and grab his waist hugging him in the most awkward position, your face pressed into his side and and his knee currently crushing your ribs. But it was by all definitions cuddling, and that's kind of all you needed right now. God, you're a little bit sappy.

"Uh. Sollux? You okay there?" John says above you, scratching your scalp with his fingertips.

You mumbled incoherently, burrowing your nose into his waist. Not the most comfortable position, but neither of you were complaining. And John smelled familiar, like a brother almost. The perfect mood was set, up until the point Dave burst into the room with increased flamboyance, blathering away at John mid-sentence through the door. Confirmed your suspicion then, John probably invited him over when you were pacing hopelessly. Moral support, maybe?

He finally stopped talking long enough to notice both you and John, only to say the most annoying thing you could have dreamed up.

"Sweet, cuddle pile. Lemme in," he added himself in John's lap, noticeably avoiding you. Thank God, you are not cuddling him - not a chance in hell would that ever happen. Though, you couldn't help but notice the way he'd purposefully draped a leg over yours to spite you. What a dick, how can John even stand him.

...Maybe that's just jealously talking? Not that you aren't happy being with Karkat, but you think it's about time you two talk about your actual relationship status. Is there a relationship status at all? You're so confused.

EB, you mentally say to him, make DV leave so I can vent to you. He doesn't really hear you, but by the light patting he does on the top of your head, it seems as though he does and that might just be enough to get you through the rest of the day. You smile, and appreciate the lovely moment. (With Dave). (Without Karkat).


	11. Bonding!!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Spring break is here, and Karkat has last minute plans.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hmmmm its been a while. Not a month yet though so im going good with this drabble-turned-chaptered.
> 
> anyway, yeah, ive made some backstory what a surprise. although honestly, it wasn't planned so if it doesnt make sense please tell me i suck at doing this stuff haha.
> 
> thank you for the kudos' and reads! <3
> 
> tumblr > http://kannytown.tumblr.com

You've been lying in bed for a couple of minutes now, relishing in the fact that it's not Monday; but it was still just past 9am and you could probably kill Eridan for waking you up at this hour. The dude has a 'date' surprisingly enough, but you were too sleep-deprived to actually listen to what he was saying. Something about a girl and...yeah that's all you really got out of the exchange you had with him. He left pretty hastily, though. Didn't even get a shower which just painted you a different a shade of 'what-the-fuck' for a good few seconds or so.

But there you were, lying in a nest of your blankets and thinking about what you were going to do today. You had no plans. Sollux, as you sadly recall, was back home with his dads for the break. As much as you wanted to spend the entire time with him, Sollux had duties as a son to fulfil his end of ‘father-son’ bonding. Whatever that was – all your dad did was argue with Kankri or go to church with his very-long-time girlfriend/fiancée/best-friend. Honestly, you hadn’t seen your dad in so long they could have gotten married by now and you wouldn’t have known, granting you two new sisters. And Kankri you’d seen even less than that.

You sit up in bed, bundling your blankets around you like a marshmallow cocoon. It was light outside, sun streaming in through the shitty college-quality blinds hanging like loose threads. You shielded your eyes as you rolled out of the nest, opening the blinds forcefully with the stiff cord. You grimaced at the unexplainable stains on the window ledge. Dave must have it so easy with those shitty sunglasses, you think.

Outside, you could see people already frolicking on the grass, walking back from Starbucks and generally being awake and annoying. You felt like an old man, blanket on your back and a fist to shake. God, go back to bed, Karkat. It was Sunday, the first Sunday of break actually, so why the hell wasn’t anyone hungover and sleeping like a normal college-teen?

Ugh, you still missed him a lot.

Which leads you to think of the even bigger downside to not having Sollux here.

You spoke to Kankri, the high-lord of I'm-better-than-you-kiss-my-feet. Which, was a hell on its own. As you’d heard, he’d left your dad in Wisconsin, a fuck of a long while away and come to the beautiful state of California to visit you. Why would he even go to all of that trouble, it’s not like you’d even want to see him at all. You came to California to get away, it was either that or join the church and become a priest or some kind of street preacher. No thank you, you’d rather become a part-time employee at McDonald’s. Not that you haven’t been that before, and it sucked pretty bad, so you’re allowed to compare.

From behind you, your phone vibrated at an ungodly volume. You thought about ignoring it, until it stopped and began again. You hope it’s Sollux – if you have to speak to someone at 9am on a Sunday let it be him, please.

You dive at the phone, tripping over your blankets on the way there and very nearly face planting your own bed when you just about managed to hit ‘answer’ on the screen. You pushed it onto your ear without looking at the name and answered with a strained ‘what?’

“Ah, Karkat! Lovely that you could actually answer your phone. I was beginning to think you were occupied, or as I know you do on a Sunday this late in the morning, sleeping…Or as I’ve heard from certain ‘people’ that it’s Spring break and the college folk get quite rowdy, am I right? Which, illegal. I hope you haven’t been consuming? Have you? Karkat if you have I will have to take certain measures and –“

“I’m sober and not in the slightest hungover, but Kankri, you’re giving me such a goddamn fucking headache I’m wishing I was ‘consuming’, just to make your voice seem less like the sound of a thousand nails scraping on a chalkboard and more like the sound of sweet music.”

You’re about to hang up, when he speaks again. One thing you’ve actually learned from being a part of the Vantas family is that if you hang up on Kankri, he rings again. And if you don’t pick up, he rings again. If you don’t pick up the second time, he leaves a voicemail, and another, and another until finally you crack and call his lame-ass back for more lectures. Even your dad is sick of his shit, and he’s a preacher – if his girlfriend wasn’t partially deaf, you think she’d have hit the road a long time ago.

“Don’t joke with me, Karkat. Alcohol is a serious issue! But that’s not why I called you.”

“Are you calling about how you aren’t coming to stay with me tomorrow? Because that’d be such a fucking shame I might have to climb back into bed and weep ‘til my eyes bleed.”

You can hear the face he makes, both older-sibling disappointment and humor in the same second.

“Actually, yes. I’m not coming to stay with you tomorrow, there was an issue with flights. I had unfortunately miscalculated and…forgotten to book a seat and now…”

“You’re not coming? Oh, well say hi to dad for me. Sign a ‘hi’ to –"

A loud sigh sounded down the phone and breathed into your ear. You had to pull back a bit, Kankri’s being a shit for no reason and now, you have to listen to the after-sigh. A sigh with Kankri is not good.

“Karkat for Christ’s sake – excuse me – listen to me for a second. I know you don’t want to see me and frankly, not to disagree on bad terms, I can’t understand why. All I want is some sibling bonding, don’t you want that too? It isn’t like I’m asking to move in with you, I have a room reserved with a friend a few streets away so there isn’t a worry about me ‘cramping your style’. I just…there was an earlier flight today, I’m going to board in a little while actually, so I’ll be landing in a couple of hours. Then I’ll be hanging out with the friend I mentioned while I get my belongings sorted out and, depending on whether you want to or not, we can get a bite to eat and catch up. It’s not too much to ask, is it? I haven’t seen you in at least…what is it now? Two or three years?”

You silently take a breath in. Not seeing each other for that long wasn’t even your fault, it was mainly Kankri’s. You hated him a lot less when you were fifteen, he was just mildly annoying. But he was still your brother – who also looked out for you when you needed it. So when he’d left for college in New York, you were left alone to your own devices while your dad dragged your sad self around the state preaching equality and how the love within us all could change the world. Then he met Dessi with her two kids and you were kind of shoved in the corner for a little while. Until you turned seventeen and decided to stay with your friend in Texas, who then persuaded you to move to California and go to college with him. (The friend is Dave, and you think maybe you need to work on that friendship, but that’s another matter).

And here you are, on the phone with your brother who finished his time at college and who now wants to meet you again. You haven’t really wanted to get in touch with him again for the simple reason you felt like he wouldn’t find the time to talk to you. Ironic, really.

“Fine, okay, call me when you get your shit sorted. I have no plans for the rest of the day.”

You hang up, switching your phone’s screen off and tossing it in your bag on the floor. God, you can’t believe you just agreed to meet him again, what is even going on in your head. It’s the heat, you tell yourself, the heat is making you crazy.

You hop off of your mattress, straightening your blankets so they look only half decent and throw on whatever clothes from the floor smelled marginally clean. They were folded, so most likely clean. It’s only Kankri, anyway, so there wasn’t a need to impress anyone.

You groan at the time again and wash your face, careful not to knock over all of Eridan’s shit from the cabinet in the bathroom again, and brush your teeth. Borrowing his toothpaste can’t hurt, yours is down the point of looking like a dead snail you’ve rolled it and squeezed so many times.

The mirror tells no lies; you can’t fucking wait to get back into bed and call it a day.


	12. Dinner for four + Dave

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I finally updated.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WHAT I UPDATED AFTER LIKE A MONTH OR MORE WHO KNOWS
> 
> oh well here you go and really bad chapter that I didn't proofread or read at all here you go here you go here you go
> 
> also if html is fucked up im sorry but i aint fixing it
> 
> SIDENOTE: I'm going to stop writing anything from here on out and edit the other chapters. I'm currently on 6, which had quite a bit of tweaking to be done. Some of the other chapters weren't so bad, but others will need a lot of work. So, yeah. Might be a while until I update again, sorry!

TA: kk iim 2ure your brother ii2nt a2 bad a2 you 2ay he ii2   
CG: OH! AND I’M SURE YOU’RE A TOTAL EXPERT ONE MY BROTHER, ARE YOU?  
CG: IF I COUNTED THE AMOUNT OF TIMES I HEARD THAT I’D HAVE DIED OLD AND FUCKING CRUSTY, THEN PURPOSEFULLY REINCARNATED INTO ONE OF MY MANY PATHETIC ANCESTORS JUST SO I COULD SAY “FUCK YOU” IN A MORE SYMBOLIC MANNER SO YOU’D UNDERSTAND WHAT I’M TRYING TO SAY TO YOU HERE.  
CG: HE’S LIKE THE MAC AND CHEESE YOU LEFT SITTING IN THE FRIDGE FOR GOD KNOWS HOW LONG – WHEN DID YOU EVEN LAST HAVE MAC AND CHEESE? WHO KNOWS! PROBABLY LOOKS NICE FROM A DISTANCE, BUT OHHHH NO, ONCE YOU START TO GET DEEP INTO THE DELICIOUS GOOEY-NESS THAT IS THE MAC AND CHEESE YOU START TO REALISE HEY, WAIT, THIS IS FUCKING DISGUSTING!   
TA: iim not following are you 2ayiing your brother ii2 deliciou2 and gooey  
TA: becau2e ii don’t want two know how you know that  
TA: iim not really intwo ince2t tbh

You leaned back from your laptop, recoiling at the piss-coloured words. God-fucking-dammit, Sollux. You thought about where you were sitting in the college cafeteria, your back to the rest of the insufferable assholes eating and socialising and arched your back over the screen. Can’t have anyone wondering what this is about…that’d be unpleasant to explain. People already think you’re a little crazy with the whole ‘fuck you, fuck this, fuck off. And fuck me.’

CG: SOLLUX PLEASE.  
CG: FOCUS.  
CG: I’M JUST SAYING THAT HE’S VILE AND MANIPULATIVE AND OFFENSIVE AND GOD I DON’T EVEN WANT TO TALK ABOUT THAT SLIMY BAG OF WET HORSE SHIT ANYMORE. CAN YOU SMELL HIM STINKING UP OUR LIVES? BECAUSE I CAN!  
CG: I MEAN WHO DOES HE THINK HE IS WALTZING BACK INTO MY LIFE??  
CG: I WAS PERFECTLY HAPPY WITHOUT HIM!

You can’t say that’s one-hundred percent true, but things were sure sweeter when Kankri wasn’t around. Especially now that you’ve met Sollux, it was like Kankri had sensed your happiness and thought it his only goal in life to ruin that – probably not the case, let’s be honest – but you couldn’t help feeling that way every time you thought about it. Kankri just made things worse when he was around.

TA: 2o how2 your spring break 2o far   
CG: NICE SUBJECT CHANGE.  
CG: ACTUALLY, NOW THAT YOU MENTION IT, NOT THAT BAD.  
CG: IT’S SUNDAY, WHICH IS KICKING MY ASS PRETTY HARD, BUT I DID WAKE UP TO AN EMPTY ROOM. DID YOU KNOW ERIDAN HAS A DATE? I SURE AS FUCK DIDN’T, AND I’M SURPRISED AS ALL FUCK BECAUSE HE STILL TALKS ABOUT THAT GIRL. THE COFFEE GIRL? FUCK I CAN’T EVEN REMEMBER. HE TALKS SO MUCH ABOUT HER I’VE BLACKLISTED HER NAME FROM ENTERING MY EAR CANALS.  
CG: WAIT! MAYBE HE’S ON A DATE WITH HER??  
CG: HAHA!  
CG: SO YEAH THAT’S MY BREAK SO FAR, NOTHING EXCITING AS ALWAYS. HOW’S YOURS?    
TA: well dad number one ha2 fallen 2iick wiith the flu 2o famiily bondiing ii2 off for the next few day2  
TA: whiich really 2uck2 major diick becau2e ii wa2 lookiing forward two goiing two the museum   
CG: WHY WHAT’S AT THE MUSEUM?   
TA: nothiing  
TA: ii ju2t liike goiing two the giift 2hop  
TA: they have cute liittle plu2h aniimal2   
CG: SOLLUX IF I HADN’T MET YOU IN PERSON BEFORE I’D THINK YOU WERE A 10 YEAR OLD KID CATFISHING ME  
CG: BUT I’M JUST GOING TO APPRECIATE THAT YOU STILL HAVE A CHILDISH SIDE EVEN IF YOU ARE A SUPER COMPUTER HACKER NERD IN COLLEGE.  
CG: SHIT, HOLD ON. I HAVE COMPANY.

Sure enough, you do have company. You heard him before you saw him, but that was because he was whistling a tacky tune and swinging a set of keys in his hand as he walked past. Not that you would have seen him first anyway, you had your back to him. You gently let out the deep sigh that was slipping out of your mouth, and let Dave take his seat across from you at the tiny round table without a word. He purposefully dragged the seat’s legs across the floor, the screeching of metal on tile most likely giving you more than a few glances from the others in the cafeteria. The guy just can’t handle having no one looking at him, can he?  
He sat down with more grace than was needed, making a big show of it by taking the chair and swinging it around so he could sit on it backwards, and swing his legs over it like it was a horse. What kind of douche would sit on a chair like that? It looks stupid, and if you have short legs your feet don’t touch the floor. It’s kind of patronizing too, you kind of feel like Dave is about to lecture you on your reckless behaviour, or on how many croissants you may have bought (and ate) in the time you’ve been sitting there.

“So, Vantas. What’s up?”

You can’t help glaring at him like he’d sprouted five heads; even though he used to be one of your best friends, he irritates you like a rash in the summer. You can’t remember the last time you actually had a conversation, so what does he want?

“Why do you suddenly care ‘what’s up’? When was the last time we actually spoke one-on-one?”

Oh - wait, you _do_ remember. That night? Yeah. It came as a little bit of a shock to you that Dave wasn’t as straight as he said he was, and probably didn’t get as many ‘bitches’ as the rumours said, but you’ve had too much on your mind lately to even worry about any of his problems. It wasn’t really your business anyway. He does what he does, and in this case, it would be John. But you couldn’t help thinking back to the time you stayed with him in Texas, and he wasn’t exactly ‘no-homo’...you’d honestly thought he’d had a crush on you – but obviously that was dumb thinking on your part. Really dumb.

Dave said nothing, only raised an eyebrow.

"John went back home a few days ago and I'm lonely, if you're little brain is that curious to know. So I ask again, what's up?"

“Nothing’s really ‘up’ as much as it is ‘down’,” you mumbled, answering him. “Kankri is visiting, and my only support is off squirming in the plush depths of museum-brand cuddly bee toys for the entirety of his stay.”

You heard him whistle again, this time looping comically. You ran a hand through your hair and tried to look him in the eyes – it was admittedly quite difficult.

“Oh, shit. That sucks. No idea what that last part was even supposed mean, but i’ll kick his ass if you want, be your knight in shining high-tops or whatever’s more appropriate. When’s he touch down?”

“At three we’re supposed to meet at some pretentious restaurant, his choice obviously, for a catching-up session. Fuck knows what that’s supposed to do. What are we even supposed to talk about? ‘Hey, how have you been for the past three years alone? Pretty lonely probably I bet, ha-ha.’ Yeah, no thanks to you!”

Dave was quiet for a second, his eyebrows making a hell of a lot of movement behind the shades, before he said, “Y’know, if you want someone to tag along with you it’s no big deal, and I don’t have any plans. Dave here can protect you from this shit, he does have two problematic bros. One of which is gayer than him and the other is a walking pillar of unnecessary masculinity. Your call, dude.”

Speaking about himself in third person and openly saying he’s at least partially gay aside, (and you really couldn’t take him seriously when he spoke in third person, you just couldn’t) you don’t think it’s such a bad idea. Might be nice to have Dave around again, even if it is just to see your brother and subject him to your second-hand pain.

“We’re still friends, bro. All that time you spent with me in Texas and before that online didn’t just disappear,” he snorted in amusement then, but you could tell he was serious. You really did miss those times with your best friend. “So do you want me there or not?”

Uuuuuuuuuuuugh.

“Sure. Why fucking not. Could use you there as emotional support.” You side-eyed him.

“Aw sweet, text me when you’re ready to go and I’ll pick you up, a’ight?”

With that, he stood up, stole your half-eaten croissant (that you’d totally forgotten was even there) and left you alone.

Your laptop pinged in front of you again, like it had the whole time you were talking with Dave. Sollux was really getting pissed off with the vague explanation of why you stopped messaging back. The time in the corner said 13:37. About an hour until you should probably leave – Kankri chose some pompous fucking restaurant halfway across the town, the kind with private booths and shit. And reservations. God, you hope this isn’t some fine-dining establishment, you don’t do well with dress code and you can’t imagine Dave does either. This isn’t something you wanted to even THINK about today!

TA: kk  
TA: kk what happened whered you go  
TA: who’2 there wiith you?  
TA: EARTH TWO KK  
TA: KK OH MY GOD  
TA: AN2WER ME   
CG: CALM YOUR TITS SOLLUX  
CG: FIRST OF ALL, I WAS TALKING TO DAVE. AND SECOND, IT LOOKS LIKE I HAVE A BODYGUARD TO ACCOMPANY ME ON THIS SUICIDE MISSION. IT JUST MEANS THERE WILL ONLY BE MINIMAL SCREAMING AT YOU THROUGH MY PHONE.   
CG: SOLLUX  
CG: OH FOR FUCK’S SAKE!

-

By the time you were ready to go, Dave had texted you first. He’d been apparently waiting outside for a while, and thought it best not to even tell you when he’d first pulled up. Because that’s just the guy he is. You’re just thankful he turned up, and if you believed in any sort of deities or heavenly gods you would really believe that all of your hoping and praying worked. But under no circumstances would he ever let you or anyone down if he said he’d do something, and you know that for a goddamn fact - unless he’d died somehow, but you can’t imagine that would ever happen at all. It would literally be the only thing stopping him.

You were in your room, still panicking and shitting about. Eridan was still not back from his supposed ‘date’, and you added that to the list of worries. What kind of date was it anyway, that he had to leave before the crack of dawn had even graced this side of the world? This girl had better be special.

As another worry, this one fashion-related, you changed your shirt at the last minute; a button down plain black one you found in the bottom of your...Eridan’s closet. It wasn’t _formal_ , but you rolled the sleeves up anyway just to make it obvious you weren’t trying to look good for your family. God, of course you weren’t! It’s not like you really gave a shit about seeing Kankri again, he’s an ass. The guy, as you remember, was argumentative, cared for no one but himself, and always had a way of offending everyone around him. Why would you care at all if you _ever_ got to see him again? You huff in frustration, kicking a shoe that was on the floor halfway under your bed. That’s that gone.

Your phone vibrated in your pocket, and your heart buzzed in your chest along with it. A message from Dave telling you to get the fuck out of your room seemed to be to most likely. But you were worried he’d back out (Great! Another worry.) - now that you know you have support, if he backs out you might have to back out too – you don’t care if that makes you a wuss. Let it be known that Karkat Vantas is a pathetic runt the majority of the time.

Your skin felt itchy, and you idly brushed you fingertips along your fingernails, feeling the keratin scratch the sensitive skin.

Anxiety aside, was Kankri expecting you to pay? How much have you got in your wallet...? ...Where is your wallet?

TG: hey man you ready yet  
TG: its like 14:21  
TG: got my handy satnav here says it takes like  
TG: pretty long to get there  
TG: like  
TG: 30 mins – 40 minutes   
CG: I’M GOOD  
CG: JUST FINE ALMOST READY TO GO  
CG: CAN’T FIND MY FUCKING WALLET OR FIGURE OUT WHAT TO WEAR BUT I  
CG: I AM JUST PEACHY!   
TG: hey theres no need to worry your european ass about it ill be with ya ok   
CG: I WAS BORN IN AMERICA YOU DENSE FUCK   
TG: half european then

“Shit,” you whistled through your teeth. Where’d your wallet even go? Fuck this, no time to look for it, you were getting way too frustrated anyway, looking for it any longer would make you literally jump out the window. Which at this rate, sounded way better than actually leaving the normal way.

CG: FUCK I CAN’T FIND MY WALLET AND I’M FREAKING THE FUCK OUT

Was that an exaggeration? Maybe. It sure was hard to breathe in here, wow hot or what?  
Nope, you’ve got to leave, bye dorm room. Time to go, you think.

TG: yo fuck your wallet ill get you new one  
TG: just  
TG: calm down okay

You whisked a pair of shoes from the floor, not even stopping to put them on, fresh air would be good. Right now. Hop and a skip down the stairwell and you were already feeling okay, felt better to get a move on than to stand like a statue and assess your situation like a dumb fuck. Although the tiniest part of your brain was still asking you to go back to bed and forget today, you persevered with the task. You’ve got to do this. You just have to. 

Dave’s car was in sight at the bottom of the stairs, you could see it through the doors. You pushed them both open and took a deep breath, sun in your face. Okay, done. Outside. Just, get in the car, Karkat.

“You ‘kay?”

You nodded and opened the passenger door to get in, feeling the heat in there stick to your skin, not even trusting yourself to say anything. Your head felt heavy, and you felt a little sick now that you think about it. You’d completely forgotten about the shoes in your hands, the laces twining around your fingers like little white snakes. You started to put them on, your mind going elsewhere.

Dave looked you over once, before squeezing your shoulder. He used to do that when you were younger, but only if he was worried about you. You hated it, but couldn’t bring yourself to say that it actually helped. You avoided his eyes, and he let you go, putting the car in drive and heading on out to wherever it was your demise was taking place. This was going to be a long drive in silence, you think.

 

-

 

Dave had put the radio on, but the only stations he could find were country-themed or broadcasting sports results. So he gave in to your complaining after listening to three western power ballads in a row – complete with Dave’s wonderfully shrill singing - all about ‘lil’ mammas’ and ‘honeys’ – and just connected his ipod to the car. He didn’t have a bad music taste, not really. In fact, you’re sure some of those songs you have on your laptop, and would definitely listen to them regularly. The majority of the rest of them were dubstep and obscure bands nobody would have heard of ever, but that was expected.

You still enjoyed being with Dave again, in fact, you missed hearing these stupid bands sing about friendship and ‘livin’ life for the weekend’, whatever that meant, kind of like an old stuffed toy you found in the attic from childhood, gives you comfort and good memories. Like Dave does.

You wouldn’t _tell_ him that, that would just be embarrassing. And anyway, he’d think that was just weird and tell you to stop being a sappy loser.

 

“Find your wallet?” Dave said after a few notes of singing. You’re very surprised the windows hadn’t exploded yet.

You looked out onto the road, no immediate sign of heat radiating from the car bonnets; It was kind of mild outside, you think. Not as boiling hot as any other day in California. You didn’t turn around to look at him, just laid your head on the window and stared forward at the road, sun occasionally blinding you.

“Nope. Probably left it in the cafeteria, I would have gone back for it but I didn’t want to be late for this fucking family shit. God, I had at least fifty in there. And coupons. Fuck.”  
Dave nudged your arm, looking at you just long enough that he wouldn’t crash the car, “It’s fifty bucks, and I could easily give you that if you asked. Say the words, dude, cash in hand.”

Why does he have to be so generous all the time? For an asshat, the guy can be nice sometimes, but it just really annoyed you. You are not taking money from him, it just reminds you how little you actually have in your – now lost forever – wallet. You would also probably have to buy a new one, which is more money spent that you don’t have.

“I don’t even have a fucking wallet to put it in, in case you’d forgotten that crucial piece of information.”

“Then I’m gonna buy you a new one. Be like a 2x gift combo, courtesy of yours truly. You are fuckin’ welcome.”

You rolled your eyes, ending the discussion. If it wasn’t for the music in the background, it would have been a lot more awkward in the silence – but even then it sounded like white noise with no real purpose.

Three songs went by and you’d started to doze off, your eyes closing against your will and the heat of the car sending calming vibes through your head. The jolting on the bumpy road didn’t really bother you, you were just kind of exhausted from the past events, and a nice sleep for a few days would probably help. But obviously that was idiotic, you can’t sleep in Dave’s car. You forced your eyelids open, rubbing your fingers into them to tear away the sleep. You’re practically at the restaurant – the place loomed over the horizon, like a great hulking mountain. Or maybe it just looked big because it was on a hill, but the place sure did look classy. Suddenly you feel worse about your clothes than you did before, but a quick glance at Dave and his blue jeans reassured you a little bit.

As if reading your mind, he muttered as the car climbed up the hill, “Don’t worry, I didn’t dress up either.”

It was a little comforting, you don’t know what you’d do without.

 

-

 

Kankri had brought...a guest. Two guests, actually. You’re quite surprised that he even had one friend, nevermind two in a state he’s never even been to before. Where did he even meet them? From looking at them both – you tried not to stare, but they were really quite attractive – you could tell they’d either been dragged into it or felt sorry for him. They were the kind of people who destroyed nations and laughed while doing it. You were a little intimidated, especially since Dave had disappeared to the bathroom and left you alone with them all.

Beside you, Kankri was bickering with the woman across from him. She had heavy dark makeup, and a few gold piercings scattered here and there. Tattoos, also, everywhere. How in the fuck did she manage to become Kankri’s friend? Was she the one he was staying with? She gave him a loaded gaze every time he said something, and occasionally she’d mutter, “That’s great, Kanny.” Or “That’s nice, sweetie.” They obviously had a complicated friendship, one that was based on bickering and debating. She probably went to college with him, it was the only explanation you could come up with.

You left them to it and directed your gaze to the girl opposite you; she was definitely younger than the woman. She was wearing less makeup, and her hair was by far shorter. It was styled quite sensibly, and she looked very poised and doll-like. No doubt had no sense of humor, either. You can’t imagine getting along with her at all.

Kankri hadn’t changed at all. Still wore sweaters, still looked like a douche.

“So,” Dave said out of nowhere, taking a seat at the table. The waiter had escorted you all to an empty four-chair table, but because Dave was there, he’d been seated at the head with an extra chair. Surprisingly, the place wasn’t as swanky as you suspected; there were families and children plaguing the other booths and tables. You had absolutely nothing to worry about on that front, aside from the noise of kids screaming. “Where did you two ladies find Vantas-Senior?”

Kankri and the woman stopped conversing and turned to Dave, who now looked stricken at being singled out. Woops, this is going to be a very interesting dinner. You stayed quiet.

“I’m sorry, I seem to have misplaced your name...” Kankri started, then dropped off as his friend held up her hand and jumped in to take the conversation. Unusual for him to just stop talking like that. Weird.

“We met in college, unfortunately.” She had a pleasant voice, deep and velvety. “He was giving a speech on yet another disagreeable topic, and I of course had to jump in and set his mind straight. From then on, I suppose, we’ve been inseparable. Isn’t that right, Kanny?”

He said nothing, simply rolled his eyes and inspected the silverware. What the hell happened to your brother? Where was the objections?

“I’m Porrim, by the way. And this is my sister Kanaya,” Porrim added, turning to her sister. Kanaya looked up, giving a sweet smile and a little wave. She was cute, but in an aesthetic kind of way; even though she hadn’t said anything yet you could tell she was a nice person.

“Dave, Karkat’s friend.”

Kankri suddenly tensed beside you, and you could feel every doubt you had return to the surface. When he tensed, it wasn’t a good sign; whatever Dave had done had obviously triggered something inside of your deeply problematic brother and unleashed the warrior within.

“So _you’re_ Dave. My, I have heard so much about you! Some...interesting things, I have to say. Old things, mind. Karkat and I haven't really spoken...recently.”

Dave turned to you, and you melted in your seat. Could you maybe swap Kankri for your dad? Dave meeting your dad would be way more interesting and far safer. Please. Porrim chuckled, and Kanaya – surprising you – put her hand on yours and cooed. Your life was a fucking sitcom. And not the funny kind.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading!


End file.
